illumnus:

illumnus:

illumnus:

illumnus:

I’ve been sitting in my pantry eating food for the last 15 minutes. What is my life anymore.

Update: my sister is coming to the pantry. What do I do. Help.

Update: she opened the door and screamed. I’m still eating.

Update: I’m not in the pantry anymore. She kicked me out.

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

i just burned 1200 calories (i forgot the pizza in the oven)